If you are over 50 and wishing to date men or women younger than you or of your own age – you better know the principles and safety rules of the game! Over 50 dating can be a rejuvenating experience for those who have crossed over from physical youth to youthfulness in spirit! And if you are single, over 50 dating rendezvous can be a steamy and satiating affair – both for the heart as well as the brain!

However, with the innumerable online over 50 dating sites popping up over the web, is it safe to indulge in the way you did when you were young? It is, given that you comply with some of the set standards of over 50 dating precautions.

First, identify the typeset of a partner you want. If you want a laid-back, charming man in whose arms you would feel comforted and safe – choose so. If you want men who are potential Casanovas and wittily endearing, it’s fine again.

However, stay away from men who are overtly sexual in their approach, or show sign of aggression or dominating nature within first few weeks of contact. If you feel threatened in any way, sever the relationship, rather than crying over spilt milk later.

Secondly, stay aware – of your surroundings & your partner. Once you are off on a date, make sure that it is in a public place or restaurant/bar that your family and friends know about. Better still, have a couple of your friends around the place you are going on a date, especially if it is someone you only know through online dating portals and chat-rooms.

Finally, make sure that the guy or girl you have started dating is not into a habitual online dating portal scanner. If he/she is, chances are that he/she may leave you for someone chanced upon in the same online dating site that you guys had used to ignite your romance!

Have all these precautionary measures check-listed and you will be enjoying your day out in the sun, with your potential life partner by your side, to the fullest!

There are plenty of reasons for people to join an over 50 dating site. With mature dating getting popular, people are finding a solution to bring back enjoyment in their retired and lonely life. Most people join over 50 dating sites as this is the easiest way to meet some one of your choice from among the unlimited options available.

Often, they allured by their friends who are pretty much actively involved and are members of online dating sites. The excitement of meeting some one new and interesting in the second innings on your mature dating ball game can be unavoidable sometimes.

It isn’t always easy to step into the dating arena after you have lived nearly half your life. Your grown up children may not approve it, you may be shy to go on an open quest to find your mature dating partner or might doubt your chances of finding one for your self. Online dating sites are just the right place for you to visit.

Knowing someone sharing the same interest as you do without having the fear of being embarrassed, so many profile to choose from whenever you want is what is makes online dating sites most fascinating for people interested in over 50 dating.

Online dating no longer bears the stigma of lazy and useless activity but has become the necessity of the busy city life. It is difficult to visit pubs, bars and discos in search of your soul mate, especially if you are searching for some one interested in mature dating. Moreover finding your over 50 dating partner offline make take its toll both on your money and energy leaving you frustrated if you fail to get your dream mate.

Such an interesting thing at your hands, why choose something else to bring your over 50dating endavours to success?

It is so tempting to re-invent yourself when dating on the internet. When you meet your date how easy is it to try and be someone you think they are looking for. You might think your date would approve if you become sophisticated? Or maybe a little mysterious? It is a tough call, to keep  a pretence up for longer than a week or two, possibly  a month at the longest.

If you think your date is  “the one” then you might be spending the next half century or so with them. Could you imagine that 50 years of pretending. Would you really want a lifetime of pretence? Changing some of your behaviour for the better is always a good thing, but changing your basic personality is nigh on impossible. So be you, get it all out in the open now. If that’s not what your date is looking for at least you won’t get in to deep. Some people don’t actually like sophistication, or mystery, they’ll maybe love your for an upfront sense of humour, some people like to be needed and do a bit of looking after. Horses for courses. Somewhere out there is someone who wants you, dating is the perfect and possibly the only way to find that special someone. Remember you are unique.

Internet dating involves a massive leap of faith. Using positive language (initially whilst chatting on line) has a huge effect on the people you’re chatting to. People feel energised when listening to positive conversation. You’ll be a magnet for further chats on the dating site and, will increase your chances of going out on a date quite significantly. Make a list of all negative words and phrases you would use routinely in a day. Then work out positive phrases to replace the negative ones with. For example

God I’m so bored… With…………I’m going to find something different to do today.

The traffic was a bloody nightmare….With….What an eventful trip.

I’m absolutely dreading this…With….I just can’t wait to have a go.

I’m useless…….With…….. I’m determined to get this right.

This is a problem…..With……I’m trying to work this out.

I hate that………….With……Maybe it’s an acquired taste?

It’s easy to turn a negative into a positive, it just requires practise. Positive language can have a dramatic impact on your dating success. Language makes a significant difference to how you view something or someone; this in turn can impact on how your prospective dates will view you. Choose your words carefully and you will become more interesting to people you want to impress. Ditch the negative, dance with the positive, date the people you are impressed with.

Over several glasses of wine I had a conversation with my partner who I met online on a over 50 dating site, about what she finds  attractive in a man. She told me that this was this a universal truth with all her girlfriends. What prompted the conversation, was me feeling rather lucky to have pulled a cracker despite being of average looks myself. Truth is that in the past I always seemed to pull a cracker. Apparently it’s that difficult thing to define which falls generally under the heading of humour. Some call it cheek and she calls it being a bit of a naughty boy. This is not only the spoken word but apparently I “have a certain looking in my eyes” that works for her although I have no idea what ‘look’ she is on about. So there you have it that what helps make you attractive is to keep the schoolboy humour and attitude with you even when 50 plus.

I guess the easiest way of rejecting your date is at arm’s length on the telephone. Unfortunately to set this up you probably have to lie on the previous date with a ‘call me and we will arrange something’ exit line.

The best way to do this is to cut down on the body language such as preening, touching and standing in a close proximity. Most people are great at reading signs like this and may well get the hint.

If they don’t get the hint then you may need to spell it out. Do this in a low a key as possible and consider turning on its head. What I mean is “it’s been lovely meeting you but I don’t think I am the person for you. I’ll exit now and leave the field open for Mr/Mrs right.

Never, never tell them they are too fat, short, stupid or bald. Personal comments are entirely unnecessary as the person has done nothing wrong apart from not being your type.

Similarly, do not get into answering twenty questions about precisely why they are not the right person for you. This is at best a dead end and at worst the precursor to a ugly situation that could have been avoided.

The wrong venue for a first date

The first thing to say is that first dates are best in the daylight, somewhere neutral and for a short time only so you both have a get out. If you have neen speaking online for sometime and feel confident enough to be more expansive then still try to avoid –

• Restaurants where you can’t pronounce the items on the menu.
• Restaurants that serve up animals only seen in zoos
• Restaurants where unless you are known make you sit next to the toilet or kitchen
• Anywhere that you have to shout above the music to get heard
• Your Mothers house
• The cinema
• Anywhere on a date with your ex and their new partner

The best venue for me on a first date is probably a bistro with good food lots of people and fairly quick service.

Here’s a sample of stuff you never, never say to a woman when dating at 50 or any other age-

You remind me of my mother (bad).

You remind me of my ex wife (worse).

You remind me of my daughter (just weird)

You look different to your photo. Have you put on weight? (Idiotic)

How long ago was your photo taken? (Suicidal)

Your friend is really good looking. (A real date shortener)

Your daughter is good looking (as above but with an added slap thrown in)

You look like ******** in the movies before she lost her looks. A faded beauty. (Beer shampoo heading your way)

For women, think elephants. They never forget and anything you say can and will be taken down and used against you.

Over 50, dating and still having fun? Yes that’s me folks and guess what? I am happy just making friends and not looking to marry again. Over 50 and not wanting to settle down makes some eyebrows raise but to me it makes sense because I do not look, act or believe my age is a barrier. My birth certificate is a fabrication visited on me by a impish spirit. I have been down the married and mortgaged route and it all went wrong. It went so wrong that it still hurts like hell to think about it. And so rather than jump in again, I have decided to chill out and make new friends on my over 50 dating site. These friends of whom I now have many are a mix of those like me who just want new friends and lovers and those who really do want to get permanently tied. The one thing I never do is lead people down the garden path in order to achieve intimacy. That wouldn’t be fair and I always try and treat people how I like to be treated myself, with respect.

Some may say that my innings is nearly up and I should be considering my pipe and slippers but I don’t buy into that apocolyptic vision. To me 50 is the new 30 and a good diet and excercise will keep me going strong for a wee while yet. Over  50 dating for me is not a means to an end. It is actually the journey that matters.

First date nerves?  Where to go? What to do? First dates are never going to be a relaxing experience. It doesn’t matter how cool you are, or think you are, their is always the feeling that things could go wrong. . . so maybe a few basic guidelines won’t go amiss.

1. 1. Try to pick an activity that you both enjoy. This sets the tone, if you choose something only you like, imagine how your date may feel, struggling to stay polite, bored and disappointed?  This is a strategy that also sets the stage for something you can afford.

1. 2. Picking something you can afford and accommodating your budget, doesn’t make you a cheapskate. The dangers of throwing money around on a first date can lead your date into a false sense of (how generous you are) and if this then isn’t a constant (how cheap you are) be realistic. Also consideration needs to be taken into account re -your dates finances, spending to big may make her feel out of your league!

1. 3. Do something that doesn’t require new clothes, they are often uncomfortable and because your not used to them they may rip or gape. It is far easier to wear your happy, easy-to-wear older clothes, concentrate on being you.

1. 4. Go where you can have a proper conversation!! Easy for me to say, the worst first date is at the movies, no conversation, people shushing you, unexpected embarrassing scenes on screen. Go where you can easily chat.

1. 5. Find a local venue, Long trips, frayed nerves, bad transport links not a good idea for a first date. If you live a fair distance meets in the middle.

1. 6. Pick an activity that doesn’t involve loads of alcohol. Difficult, especially if you suffer from first night nerves. It can lead you into all kinds of tricky situations.

1. 7. Find an activity that doesn’t last for more than a coupe of hours. A good first date is usually short.  The key here is to leave “em wanting more”. If you both had a great time you will easily want date number two. If on the other hand you didn’t enjoy each other’s company, then a couple of hours are no big deal.

1. 8. Leave time to get to know each other. A date full of too much activity keeps you busy, but if the purpose of the date is a chance to get to know one another, some quiet time is a good idea. Noise and bustle is distracting.

So have fun and good luck…………