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over 50’s dating

over fifty dating

I am 55 years old and found my partner on a mature dating website. Although we are happy, we have lots of single friends and relatives who will still not try online dating.

The question is – what is the problem? The answer seems to be that for the rest of the population, online dating is fine and dandy but for the older generation there is still a stigma attached.

The most often cited problem is that it smacks of desperation to join an online dating site. To me this is patent nonsense as online dating is simply the fastest way to meet new people and weed out those people you do not want to meet.

If you wanted to eat Beef, you wouldn’t buy a farm and grow some fine tasting pasture grass before buying and raising a cow before slaughtering and eating it. So why would you arrange to go out with mates, stress about what to wear and wonder whether you will bump into a like-minded and attractive member of the opposite gender.  Guess what? It’s a one in a thousand chance and very dispiriting if you don’t. In the same amount of time, you could have sat at home with a cup of tea and shortlisted ten people to contact anonymously with a view to going on a couple of dates.

The next objection to mature dating is that everybody will see your picture! Are you having a laugh is what I say. First of all there are millions of people in the UK and secondly you will certainly never use your real name on an online dating site. So what if someone did see your picture? They would also have to be on the same website as a member and therefore trying the same thing as you.

The next is that they are too fat, too thin, too short, too ugly etc to have anybody fancy them. Well here is the truth of the matter – there is someone out there for anybody and most of us are unhappy with our looks. The size 18 wants to be a size 12 and the size 10 wants to be a size 14! Back to me – I am absolutely nothing to look at. However, I am a cheeky so and so and my girl who is lovely looking loves my sense of humour above all things.
over 50’s dating

over fifty dating

So go on and give mature dating a go and you may never look back.

I guess that none of us thought we would end up on the 50 + dating scene. I certainly didn’t but here I am regardless.

Having been on this website and spoken to other people in the same situation, one thing seems clear. That is that they want to get a move on because as they get older, time seems to be speeding up.

This can cause friction because friends and relatives may believe that relationships are developing with an unholy haste. What they dont get is that faced with your own mortality, you do want to get a move on.

Now, 50 + and lonely is not great but 60 + and lonely is worse in my eyes. I guess it deopends on when the term mature dating kicks in for you.

Not everybody feels the sense of the clock ticking faster but I do. It is that fact that drives me on and I really do enjoy my life. I guess it’s the condemned man syndrome; fixating on my last meal.

The good news is that my last meal is going to be a magificant feast and last twenty years or more.

A flirt is almost never single – and if he/she is, it is of choice rather than chance! So, if you are over 50 and wish to be a player in the game of love- start by learning how to flirt. Now we know that flirting is an art and it only comes naturally, but a few tips to do it better (and to do it, for novices) for over 50 dating sojourns can never it, can they?! Here are 5 tips for flirting with aplomb while on an over 50 dating spree!

1. Break the ‘touch’-screen – Touching can be one of the most sensitive and yet the most warming of subjects in a date. Irrespective of whether you are on your first date or your twentieth, keep touching her subtly and in a romantic way. This is very tricky – Do it more than necessary and you are a pervert; do it less than what she’s comfortable with, and you end up as a bore! Balance is the key here (as it is probably throughout any over 50 date)!

1. Make her/him laugh – Do not keep serious just because you are on the wrong side of 50! Laugh and have fun like you did during your teenage years on a date. Remember, no one likes a sadist or a bore. So make yourself comfortable and make her laugh, even with the old jokes told in a novel way. Stay away from the dirty ones till you haven’t understood your date enough.

1. Compliments are the key – Keep complimenting your date, even if he/she is not particularly well-dressed for your liking. Remember, she might not look gorgeous today, but that doesn’t stop her from looking awesome the next if she is seriously pretty. So hold your patience and learn to keep her flattered!

1. Body Language matters – Make sure you follow her moves (DON’T STARE!) and duplicate the same subtly. This makes her more comfortable (like both of you putting your elbows on the table), and opens her up for love to make it’s way through!

1. Don’t be too perfect in the art – Don’t let it seem practiced or too perfect. This may have two negative consequences – one, she may mistake you for a Casanova or she may mistake your flirtatiousness for being too eager to be in bed with her. Both – are disastrous for a date. Try and be naïve and genuine in your PDA, and try and not be cocky.

These tips may effectively make you a great flirt – but remember- anything remotely obscene or dirty in your mannerisms and you will be out of the dating recce as fast as you had entered it! Caution is the key in every over mature dating episode. And once you know you guys are in love, throw it to the winds!

Over 50 dating is fun; one of the first rules is to have and keep your sense of humour. It is one of the most important things you can bring to relationship. If you go for looks, status or even a specific personality then eventually you could be disappointed. Looks fade, status may disappear, personality’s change, but someone with a great sense of humour which endures even when everything else has gone is worth their weight in gold. Dating someone who has the ability to make you laugh is priceless. Over 50 dating sites are similar to an estate agents window or auto trader, first you look at the photographs, then you read the description…. Sometimes the descriptions can be flawed and the photographs a little misleading. Not so with a sense of humour, you cannot pretend to have a sense of humour you just have! How attractive is that person (regardless of their looks) you’re almost guaranteed to fancy them. So next time you date someone because they have gorgeous legs, or sexy eyes, or a lovely smile. Don’t be fooled straight away Date the guy or gal that makes you laugh remember the old song “make em laugh, make em laugh”  see if they can tickle your sense of humour buds first. If you are on the over mature dating scene then you have enough life stories to make anybody laugh!

Whats the difference between mature dating and over 50 dating? At least over 50 dating is precise whereas mature dating requires a view to be taken. If we called it ‘middle aged dating’ then life becomes a bit easier because the accepted definition is that middle age starts at 55 years old. For me the word ‘mature’ means dull, past it, over the hill, sensible, tyre kicking and boring. Thats why I hope to remain in peter pan mode and stay a million miles away from ‘mature’. Don’t get me wrong, I am neither feckless or senseless. I just hate the connotations that ‘mature dating’ brings hence my decision for an over 50 dating site.

You can tell when someone really hates you. They sneer and glower and avoid your company. It’s a bit different with dating as it’s more often a slow process of disconnection beit date one or date three. Sure signs are lack of eye contact, sullenness with little verbal interaction, focusing on themselves or physically with bad body language. Read the signs and don’t go flogging a dead horse.

Dating as a mature woman can be quite daunting simply because you know far about life than you did when you were twenty one and you find yourself becoming more choosy. The thing is that your ambitions are totally different from when you were dating in your early twenties and so you need a partner who shares the same aspirations and views as you do. The only problem is finding the perfect man without the pubbing and clubbing scene. Even then, what sort of guy is likely to be propping up a bar at his age?

Online dating offer an easy and fun way to hand pick a man that meets your criteria. Here are the three top reasons for consideration –

• Online dating begins in the safety and comfort of your own home and there is no need to worry about going out to find men, especially if you are a single mature woman with married friends.
• You can create a profile that tells a potential date, all about you. Always be as honest as you can and give your true age with a recent photo. Detail all of your interests and dislikes including smoking for instance. Hopefully, you will only get replies from men with similar views and interests.
• You can emails over a extended period and really get a feel for your potential date before making any commitment to meet. Once you do decide to meet, it can take away the awkwardness because you already know what you have in common.

Whilst online dating will take the leg work out dating it can be open to abuse by conmen who prey on vulnerable women, so it is always very important not to give away too much personal information on line.

Men. How to write a great online dating profile

To write a great online dating profile then consider this chaps-

• Who you are?

Self-awareness is a very valuable tool, if you don’t know who you are, then how can your   potential dates be expected to?  They could always guess!  I guess, So figure it out, your likes and dislikes, strengths and weakness’s, tastes in music, food, travel etc….  Do an inventory, if you’re a sensitive soul, say so… The truth is self awareness brings action and power to the dating game, without it the potential for fun can be missed.

• Where are you psychologically?

Are you in a good place emotionally? Or are you feeling sad, lonely and blue, because, Gill suddenly decides she just wants to be just good friends?  Giving yourself time out can be rewarding. Learning to enjoy your own company and rediscovering the old you, without interruption, can be a positive experience. When not to begin dating will be personal to you, several pitfalls to avoid would be:

• Your Married
• You’ve lost your job
• You’ve lost a parent, good friend, dog
• You’re lost
• You’re still involved ( or not moved on)
• You’ve been divorced for less than a year (give yourself that space)
• You’ve lost your house

• Be honest.

Be honest, be precise, and be specific. If you only have one chance to write on line, write it on paper first. Take the above into account and use it. Don’t allow yourself to trot out the usual trite phrases, “enjoy nights in” of course you do, most of us do in the UK especially in winter! Rather use the space to be slightly more inventive, eye catching without being dishonest. If your 5ft 8” and enjoy train spotting, don’t pretend to be 6ft 1” and an aerodynamic engineer, you will be found out. It also won’t help you to find the person who will accept you for who you are.

• Have a recent easily identifiable photo

The number of responses, increase dramatically with a good photograph. Use a fairly recent photo. Avoid old photo’s that no longer represent the person you are now, it doesn’t pay to have a discrepancy between the picture and what you really look like.  Don’t have your “significant x” on it! It is really off putting to a potential date, also props like big cars, motorbikes, it is much nicer if you are just you.

• Check Spelling and Punctuation

Spell-check your ad. Correct grammar and punctuation.  It’s easier than you think, Word will auto correct your spellings, if you can, get a friend to proofread. Even if this is all on the QT it pays to get it looking right.

• Avoid misunderstandings when describing yourself.

Unless you can make eye contact with your potential date, the idea of describing yourself as hunky, with a good sense of humour, is fraught with difficulties; nobody knows how somebody else will interpret something as personal, as looks or humour! For example some of my friends think I’m witty… my children and partner think I’m too caustic!  Big difference. Somebody somewhere must find Mr Bean funny, I for one find him embarrassing Make sure what you’re saying is what your described and representative of you.

• Don’t make a dating profile toooo long.

We all know women get easily get bored especially when something boring like the world cup final is on! So keep it short, to the point, and above all keep them wanting more

over 50’s dating
over fifty dating

Writing a dating profile can be compared to writing a CV. They are both resumes after all.  There are many sites offering to write, or re-write your CV’s but not many to help you write a dating profile. A thoroughly modern online dating profile works best when you consider -;

• Who you are?

Self-awareness is a very valuable tool, if you don’t know who you are, then how can your   potential dates be expected to?  They could always guess!  I guess, So figure it out, your likes and dislikes, strengths and weakness’s, tastes in music, food, travel etc….  Do an inventory, if you’re a sensitive soul, say so… The truth is self awareness brings action and power to the dating game, without it the potential for fun can be missed.

• Where are you psychologically?

Are you in a good place emotionally? Or are you feeling sad, lonely and blue, because, Jack just hit the road?  Giving yourself time out can be rewarding. Learning to enjoy your own company and rediscovering the old you, without interruption, can be a positive experience. When not to begin dating will be personal to you, several pitfalls to avoid would be:

• Your Married
• You’ve lost your job
• You’ve lost a parent, good friend, dog
• You’re lost
• You’re still involved ( or not moved on)
• You’ve been divorced for less than a year (give yourself that space)
• You’ve lost your house

• Be honest.

Be honest, be precise, and be specific. If you only have one chance to write on line, write it on paper first. Take the above into account and use it. Don’t allow yourself to trot out the usual trite phrases, “enjoy nights in” of course you do, most of us do in the UK especially in winter! Rather use the space to be slightly more inventive, eye catching without being dishonest. If your 5ft 2” and enjoy browsing for antiques, don’t be tempted to say your 5ft 5” and an expert in antiquities, you will be found out. It also won’t help you to find the person who will accept you for who you are.

• Have a recent easily identifiable photo

The number of responses, increase dramatically with a good photograph. Use a fairly recent photo. Avoid unusually flattering, glamour shots; it doesn’t pay to have a discrepancy between the picture and what you really look like.  Don’t have your “significant x” on it! It is really off putting to a potential date, also props like, your cute dog, cats, nieces, nephews, this photo should be about you, a good head shot would be nice.

• Check Spelling and Punctuation

Spell-check your ad. Correct grammar and punctuation.  It’s easier than you think, Word will auto correct your spellings, if you can, get a friend to proofread. Even if this is all on the QT it pays to get it looking right.

• Avoid misunderstandings

Unless you can make eye contact with your potential date, the idea of describing yourself as sexy can be fraught with misunderstanding; Nobody knows how somebody else will interpret something as personal, as humour, or sexiness! For example some of my friends think I’m witty… my children and partner think I’m too caustic!  Big difference. Humour and innuendo are intended to soften, lighten, and divert.  Make sure what your saying makes sense.

• Don’t make a dating profile toooo long.

We all know men easily get bored! On line shopping for them is fun. Their attention can wander pretty quickly. So keep it short, keep to the point, and above all keep them wanting more

over 50’s dating
over fifty dating