This comes not only from owning a dating site but having used them previously and reading some terrible profiles. A badly written profile or short, silly message will mean you don’t end up meeting as many other people as you potentially could.
Remember, that you only have two weapons at your disposal in your profile. Your photo and what you write about yourself.
Truth is that you may choose not to put up a photo up at all initially and you will still get interest. Don’t worry about not being the best looking person in the world. We are all our own worst critics and there is someone out there for everybody. I am living proof of a not particularly good looking guy who is in a happy relationship with a beautiful woman who I met online.
If you do decide to put up a picture then please consider the impression you are trying to make and the type of person you are trying to attract. A photograph of you with a bottle of beer and a cigarette, partying with your friends may bring back happy memories for you but may alienate as many people as it attracts.
The first internet date I went on was with a lady who had put up a very nice picture that unfortunately was ten years out of date. Not only did I not recognise her, it said something to me about her integrity that meant that we did not meet again. Be honest about yourself and always put up a recent photograph to avoid embarrassment later.
My first photo on a dating site had me in the distance in black and white. For my second attempt I decided to wear sunglasses in an attempt to look cool! The feedback I got was that I looked suspicious and was hiding something. Because I take spectacularly bad pictures and look like someone featured on Crimewatch, I eventually got a proper photograph taken and lo and behold I trebled the amount of interest I was getting.
Your Written Profile
Your mum or dad probably told you that first impressions count. Any sales training coursewill teach that you only have a limited amount of time to get people interested in what you have to say. So it is with internet dating where you have a limited space to convince someone to get in touch. Here are the rules for making a good impression.
It’s also important to be as concise as you can; nobody wants to read pages and pages of a profile detailing what you had for lunch seven years ago on your first visit to a Bernie Inn. Try and pick out some key pointers, highlights, things that you may have in common with other daters and might make a talking point and give them a reason to contact you.
We all have a history and some of us still live with the baggage from the past, but it’s always a good idea to highlight positive things about you rather than the negatives or weak points or bad experiences.. Try and sound upbeat and approachable. Sociable, outgoing personalities who appear friendly are likely to have much more success on an online dating site, so bear this in mind without trying to be someone you aren’t. I am not saying that you hide what it is that makes you the person you are but that you start off by accentuating the positives and not the negatives.
Remember you are for sale!
No Joking, Think about it for a minute. A personal ad is exactly that — an advertisement about you. So it makes sense to employ some simple methods used by successful advertising agencies. Let’s break your profile down into three parts.
- The Headline
- The Personal Profile
- The Close
Men in particular are masters at writing dull, uninspiring profiles that are custom made to limit the number of responses they get. Here is a real male profile that I found -
Headline: Single man looking for a nice girl
Personal Profile: Im 40 and love animals. my dog is a mad and goes nuts whenever he sees me. I like old cars, i love the outdoors(especially hiking), This is my first go at online dating. i like to do anything fun like snooker, camping, hiking or going to pubs and clubs with a couple good friends. Im romantic, spontaneous, fun, and have a good sense of humor.
Close: If you want know more then drop me a line.
Forget the fact that this profile has grammatical errors; it violates every rule of good writing and good advertising. And unless this guy looks like Daniel Craig, he isn’t getting a date.
Let’s look at an alternative approach.
You have five seconds to get his or her attention
Always remember this: The headline is the most important element of your personal profile. It’s your first written contact with a man or woman. Studies have shown you have five seconds to capture attention with your headline.
The headline from the aforementioned profile is an excellent example of what not to do. It isn’t unique; it’s boring and typical of its type. It’s also redundant. Of course you’re looking for a man or a woman so don’t waste time and space stating the obvious.
The best approach is to use a headline that’s intriguing and inviting, one that makes him or her think of an answer to a question.
A headline my members on this site have had tremendous success with is: “Have you ever been to XXX?”
Replace the XXX with the location of your choice, as in “Have you ever been to the Box Tree? The Box Tree… it’s a small and exclusive restaurant in Ilkley a pretty market town in North Yorkshire.
This will immediately get him or her interested… “Hmm, what’s so special about the Box Tree?” They will click on your profile to find out what you’re talking about.
This leads to the personal profile.
You may have heard the phrase “The devil is in the detail.” With internet dating, the detail is what helps you find your dream man or woman.
Although this is a generalisation, what many women want, what they dream about is going on an adventure or an exciting journey with a charming and suitable man. Compare this profile with the one highlighted previously. Which do you think is more exciting?
“I’m usually on the go at weekends. Last week I visited friends in London and checked out Kew Gardens for the first time. The new Amazonian garden is simply amazing. One of my loves is music and we bought tickets for ‘Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’ which was fantastic fun. Next weekend it’s a hike around Grassington and maybe dinner at The Box Tree. The only thing missing from my life right now is a special person to share it with. Please do get in touch if you feel you fit the bill. All emails will be replied to. Thanks for reading.
To me it’s obvious that the latter is better.
Anyone can say, “I like to do anything fun.” But in the latter, you separate yourself from the pack by teasing his/her senses with details. And you’ve left the door open for a possible date (maybe, dinner at the Box Tree) This is known as the close.
A couple more things for you to take into account
Do a spell check before you post your profile.
If you can, do a spell check before posting your profile. Some people (like me) will judge you on your spelling and grammar.
Remember you are not texting.
The number of people who use text speak is amazing. Unfortunately, some of us have not got a clue what it means and will switch off when it appears. Here is the text speak equivalent of “I would like to meet a man who has a good sense of humour and who enjoys travelling abroad”. (Id lk 2 mEt a mn hu hs a gsh n hu Njoys trvlng abrd). OK it’s an exaggerated example but trust me on this and write in plain English.